Published on October 28, 2015
|Shortly after I was born, my mom decided to abandon me and she left me at the doorstep of my dad’s home. While growing up as a child, I struggled with many insecurities and low self-esteem. I could not get along with my relatives and had problems trusting others as they had mistreated me.
Without family love and a deep sense of guilt and shame, I entered my teenage years seeking love in all the wrong places. I started dating when I was just 13 years old. Throughout my teenage years, I was constantly running away from home and was embroiled into a whirlwind of smoking, drinking, drug abuse, gang fights and even being hauled up to the police station.
Eventually, I got married when I was 21 years old because of a pregnancy. Shortly after I gave birth to my daughter, Joey.
However, the marriage did not work out because there was no true love between us.
I felt that my life was falling apart. Being a single mother with little financial ability and a broken heart, I was depressed and suicidal.
In 2004, my friend invited me to City Harvest Church. And through the teachings of the Word of God and the support from my friends, I went through counseling and bible study lessons and learned to receive forgiveness from God and also to forgive those who have hurt me. I was also water baptized in the same year.
God also provided for Joey and I financially by allowing me to work at an international American company even though I was only a N-level graduate.
However, there was a part of me that still could not trust people. I did not believe in human love. I took a vow to stay single and focus on serving God and taking care of my daughter. I wanted to make God my everything and He alone is enough for me. I did not want to be involved in a relationship with another man because I was afraid of being hurt and disappointed.
But God’s love and faithfulness towards me is so great. In 2006, I was attending Pastor Kong’s marriage seminar in church when God revealed to me that I had locked my heart up so tightly that it has hardened. I decided to surrender to God and asked Him to unlock my heart of stone and turn into a heart of flesh. I wanted to be able to love others just as He loves.
Not only did God unlocked my heart, He also provided for me. In the years that I have been working in my company, a fellow senior colleague by the name of Matthew Cheetham has been supportive and caring towards me. He is a true gentleman but I did not reciprocate his kindness towards me except to be professional and cordial towards him at work. He was very sincere towards me but I did not respond because my heart was shielded behind a wall to protect myself.
After I surrendered my heart to God, I was able to accept Matthew’s friendship that eventually brought us into a dating relationship. He accepted Joey and I into his life with no conditions just as Christ loved us without conditions. He even asked Joey if he could date me!
Matthew is a wonderful man of God. He is the rock that God has provided for me to give me stability and security. Despite my tumultuous growing up years and messed-up relationships, God provided a second and better future for me.
Matthew and I got married on 7 July 2007 and this time, it was in accordance to the word of God and we entered into a covenant of Christian marriage. I now have a beautiful family – three children – Joey, Evie and Jackson and together with Matthew, we are making the best out of what God has given to us.
Love it! Great testimony of the benefits of surrendering to the Lord!