|I went through a major depression last year after my then fiancé broke off our engagement. He said he was half-hearted about our impending union. At that point in time, we had just completed the church’s pre-marital bible study and through that, we found out that we had fundamental differences in our value system and in our approach towards life.
Nonetheless, I chose to continue in the relationship, thinking that that we could overcome our differences with love and a willing heart. However, nothing can be further than the truth. Our love withered through all the constant arguments.
It was a very difficult time for me as friends and families have all been informed of our wedding date, which was scheduled for February 2012. We had paid cash deposit for various aspects of the wedding. So when he made the decision to break off the engagement, my world came crashing down.
I felt so much shame and I could not lift up my head in church, at home and in office. I had to step down as a helper for a youth group because my life was not right before God too. Friends did not know how to respond to my unique situation and soon I felt that there was no one around me as everyone had distanced themselves from me in the name of “giving me space”.
However, God sent a faithful woman, Christine Lim, who took me under her wings. She cared for me, housed me, cooked for me and allowed me to cry my heart out in front of her. It was sisterhood that came to the rescue. It was the gift of friendship and bonding between sisters that Jesus gave that helped me through my darkest period.
Slowly, my healing came and my hurts were dealt with layer by layer. Through it all, God encouraged me to choose love. He reminded me that He is my Husband-maker. I took up the courage to pick up the pieces of my life. It was an uphill task to re-establish my social circle as most of my friends were already married or attached. The initial period was discouraging and I felt so lonely returning back to the status of single-hood.
It was also at this time I cried out to God that I wanted to experience Him more tangibly. I also prayed for friends and activity partners go come into my life. It took 6 months and God honored my prayers. I constantly confessed I would marry well too.
During this period, I also experienced many unpleasant situations where male colleagues in the workplace would mock at me and made crude jokes about my marital status. I remembered breaking down in my hotel room during a Europe business trip because of this. I cried out to God and surrendered all my shame and defeat.
The most challenging task is to forgive the men who have hurt me in my life. Before my ex-fiancé, I had a boyfriend who treated me very badly and we ended with a police case as he laid hands on me. God brought to my mind about my unresolved issues with this man. I realized I still have so much fears caused by him and that sense of unworthiness.
Eventually, I plucked up courage to have a face-to-face closure with him through a church pastor and a female care group leader. It was one of the best sessions I ever had in my life! We cried and wished each other the best. Today, he’s such a changed man in his countenance and also has grown spiritually strong and is firmly planted in Church. He is a core member of CHC security team and also a cell group guitarist. God has turned his life around!
After the session for closure with him, all the fears I had for years were gone. I felt liberated! And I began to see my life blossom and friends started to come into my life. I also found the courage to start dating again and made several changes in my life. During this whole period, Christine was right there along, beside me, giving me the support and encouragement.
Today, I am now happily planted in Karista and Vincent’s care group in church and also have started a new relationship with a wonderful man. I will continue to trust God for the next leg of the journey and knows that He will truly provide for me every step of the way.
Had it not been the four faithful friends (sisters) in my life, I probably would still be in my depression. A big thank you to Christine, Jeanne, Glordia and Ruth for being my sisters’ keeper!